国外也有段子手：拉什福德的合同什么时候到期！
大家好，欢迎收看“国外也有段子手”！上周比赛的精彩程度不必多说，周中欧冠有巴萨阿森纳、尤文拜仁的火星撞地球；周末也有马德里德比、曼联阿森纳这样的年度大戏，可以说是看点十足。歪果仁对这些比赛有怎样的吐槽呢？一起来看看吧！【曼联3-2阿森纳，小将拉什福德两场四球】
MatTHFC(热刺球迷)：这个时候只要保持哈哈哈就可以了。(lol)
demonictoaster(曼联球迷)：一斩什鲁斯伯里，二斩中日德兰，三斩阿森纳……一周虐菜结束了，这是本赛季我最开心的时候！(Shrewsbury,Midtjylland and Arsenal..The week of beating Minnows is complete.This is the most fun i've had watching a United game all season)
theultimatebr0(尤文球迷)：我就想知道拉什福德的合同什么时候到期！(When does Rashford's contract expire?)
(图)同样的事，梅西用了10年，拉什福德只用了32分钟
JoeKool23(曼联球迷)：我的意思不是说拉什福德比梅西强，我只是想说拉什福德就是比梅西强。(I'm not saying Marcus Rashford is better than Leo Messi, but Marcus Rashford is better than Leo Messi.)
tthorwoaways(中立球迷)：梅西职业生涯的场均进球数是0.9，拉什福德现在每场两球。说梅西强的，你们数体教吗？(Messi's career average is about 0.9 goals per game. Rashford's career average is 2.0 goals per game. Clearly Rashford is better. That's just basic maths.)
ShepherdsPye(曼联球迷)：我们用东拼西凑的后卫线和二队战胜了阿森纳……哈哈哈哈。(We just beat Arsenal with a makeshift back 4 and the academy team...HAHAHAHA)
CheloniaMydas(维拉球迷)：你们二队看起来比一队还强啊。(Your academy team look better than your "1st" team)
Shepherdspye(曼联球迷)：你还有脸说我们？(How dare you say that!)
【皇马主场0-1负于马竞，C罗赛后语出惊人】
(图)理想与现实……
Cggo1994(西布朗球迷)：贝尼特斯是炒了，可是这又有什么用呢？呵呵。(It's almost like firing Rafa Benitez didn't magically fix all of Real Madrid's problems.Huh.)
CocoBryce(尤文球迷)：这下皇马又要在下个弱队身上泄火了！(Oh boy, the next lesser team that comes to Bernabeu is gonna pay for this!)
ApocolipseJ(多特球迷)：恕我直言，皇马就像是打不过哥哥就狠揍弟弟的孩子，欺软怕硬。(Classic middle child, gets rough-housed by older sibling, beats up the younger. Tbh.)
Montuvito_G(埃梅莱克球迷)：几年前，还有评论员说马德里德比是竞争最不激烈的德比。现在看来还真是这么回事啊~(Few years ago, there were pundits claiming the Real Madrid-Atletico Madrid derby was one of the least competitive derbies in the world.A few years later, that's actually true.)
LGLDN(热刺球迷)：26场比赛，马竞只丢了11个球……额妹子嘤！(Atletico have conceded 11 goals in 26 matches.... amazing)
Paparr(中立球迷)：我还以为C罗说这种话是哪个巴萨球迷搞出来的假新闻，结果还真是他本人说的……手动懵逼。(Its like a Barcelona fan made a fake account on twitter and is writing this things, but this is the real ronaldo saying that O_o)
THE_DROG(切尔西球迷)：换句话说，这锅我坚决不背。(In other words, it was everyone else's fault)
【巴萨2-0客胜阿森纳，梅西梅开二度攻破切赫大门】
Higuy013(荷兰球迷)：第二回合肯定是阿森纳1-0客胜终结巴萨不败纪录站着死被淘汰出局这集我看过。(The stage is set for a brave 1-0 Arsenal win in the 2nd leg ending Barca's unbeaten run while simultaneously knocking themselves out of the champions league)
Apparex1234(曼联球迷)：不不不，比分肯定是2-1，吉鲁终场前空门打飞错失良机。(No they will win 2-1..Giroud misses an open net last minute giving them a chance to go 3-1 up and win the tie)
HEYDICKBUTT(阿森纳球迷)：我觉得应该是张伯伦，他已经掌握了错失良机这门艺术的精髓。(More like Ox missing. He has mastered the art of bottling a clear chance)
(图)我大巴呢？切尔西大巴tm哪里去了？
tombowling(曼联球迷)：大家都说曼联现在有100个问题，但其实只有96个，因为阿森纳不是问题。(People were saying that ManUtd got 100 problems. Actually there only have 96, cuz Arsenal ain't one.)
Messisfoot(秘鲁球迷)：默特萨克和伊涅斯塔握手的画面让我想到了霍比特人和树人见面的场景……(Mertersacker and Iniesta shaking hands reminds me of the scene where the hobbits meet tree beard.)
eatplayrove(中立球迷)：刚上场就送点，我是弗拉米尼，我就是这么吊。(Penalty foul within a minute of substitution. #JustFlaminiThings)
【尤文2-2拜仁，罗本内切破门，囧叔神换人】
Jens_Jeremies(拜仁球迷)：有人和我一样，看到阿隆索没有首发终于长舒一口气吗？(Does anyone else feel relieved when Alonso doesn't start against more athletic opponents?)
theEternalDingus(墨西哥球迷)：阿图罗-说踢中卫就踢中卫-比达尔。(Arturo "Sure I'll play center half" Vidal)
rileyyyy(拜仁球迷)：这是比达尔效力拜仁以来踢得最好的一场比赛，简直稳如狗。(This is the best match he's played for Bayern. Worked like a damn horse and didn't miss a beat.)
TheConundrum98(萨格勒布迪纳摩球迷)：第二回合肯定是这样的：双方0-0僵持到95分钟，曼朱绝杀后拒绝庆祝，因为……他跑去打瓜迪奥拉了。(Let me tell you what will happen in the second leg. It will be 0-0 to the 95th minute till Mandžukić scores a header, but doesn't celebrate, just walks up to Guardiola and punches him and gets banned)
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