国外也有段子手：还好Puma不是做套套的！
大家好，欢迎收看本期“国外也有段子手”！欧洲杯和美洲杯两大赛事继续进行，美洲杯的四强已经产生，欧洲杯的小组出线形势也逐渐明朗起来。但无论比赛走势如何，球迷们的吐槽是少不了的，一起来看看这期的段子吧！【法国0-0瑞士小组头名晋级，两队上演撕衣秀】
SlahmanX(爱尔兰球迷)：解说员一本正经地说“在尤文，博格巴拿球时边后卫能够及时插上，这是埃弗拉所做不到的。”你tm在逗我吗！(That commentator seriously said "Pogba is used to having wing backs push forward at Juventus, I don't think Evra will offer the same". Fucking hell)
Griffin852(瑞士球迷)：脑子是个好东西，我希望解说员也能有一个。(Completely brainless)
erfanP(英格兰球迷)：这球衣质量也是醉了……用墨西哥防线做的吧？(The fuck are these jerseys made of? Mexican defense?)
(同一天的美洲杯，墨西哥0-7负于智利)
Otterable(美国球迷)：还好Puma不是卖套套的。(I'm just happy Puma don't make condoms tbh.)
Huabale(拜仁球迷)：我只希望他们也生产女足球衣。(I hope they also produce for the woman's national team :o))
TheBreakingBadPizza(墨西哥球迷)：Nike恐成最大赢家。(The real winner is Nike)
(图)欧洲杯美洲杯同时来临，最苦逼的当然是我们亚洲球迷了……
omlfc(法国球迷)：别再黑彪马了，要不是彪马球衣这比赛还有啥看头啊。(Thank you puma shirts for actually providing some entertainment)
【葡萄牙0-0奥地利遭遇两连平，C罗失点】
Jackdfdc18(无主队球迷)：C罗不会真和小球童灵魂互换了吧…… (Actually starting to believe that Cristiano swapped his talents with the ball boy in the Nike advert.)
(PS：在Nike的广告大片The Switch中，C罗和一位英格兰的小球童“灵魂互换”
Xolintoz(葡萄牙球迷)：黑子们，你们是想把C罗卖了还国债吧？(All those in favour of selling Ronaldo and using his fee to relieve national debt?)
Emre23(利物浦球迷)：葡萄牙在本届欧洲杯有50脚射门，只取得了一个进球。(Portugal in Euro 2016: 50 shot, 1 goal)
AnEmptyKarst(美国球迷)：真是帝国冲锋队级别的射门水平……(This is Stormtrooper levels of poor shooting)(星战梗)
Sc2isalivegaem(拜仁球迷)：相比之下，瑞典两场比赛0射正，也进了一个球……(Sweden in Euro 2016: 0 shots on target... 1 goal...)
Nlb53(阿根廷球迷)：身为阿迷，C罗罚点球时我一直都想让他罚丢，但是等他真正罚丢了，也是有点心疼。(I actually do. I thought I wanted him to miss it, even called it, but then when he did I just felt bad.)
(图)据说，阿尔默在门柱上贴了一张照片……
Cerozz(国米球迷)：C罗啊……如果这球进了，他就能成为第一个在四届欧洲杯上都有进球的人。(Ronaldo will feel stupid after this if he doesn't score a goal later in the tournament, scoring this would make him the first person to score at 4 different Euros.)
Theultimatebr0(尤文球迷)：无所谓，反正梅西从来没在欧洲杯进过球~(Yeah but Messi never scored at the Euro so who cares)
【英格兰2-1绝杀威尔士，贝尔任意球世界波，斯图里奇绝杀致胜】
Inter_yermaw(苏格兰球迷)：毕竟贝尔士！(Bales!)
Smitedyourmum(克罗地亚球迷)：叕是哈特。(He did it again)
ItsComingHomeLads(埃弗顿球迷)：“先生，瓦尔蒂大电影的剧本我已经写好了。”“你的想象力真好！”“不，这是事实。”('Sir i've finished writing the Vardy movie script' 'Shit you have an incredible imagination' 'No sir this actually happened')
zuzahin(英格兰球迷)：马克吐温曾经说过，事实比小说更加不可思议。(Twain used to say that truth is more of a stranger than fiction)
pppparf(威尔士球迷)：原来当英格兰球迷是这样的感觉。(so this is what it feels like to be an england fan.)
peduxe(葡萄牙球迷)：今夜我们都是英国人！(Today y'all are United Kingdom!)
Thesolly180(英格兰球迷)：卧槽，高清无码鲁尼の颜真是太可怕了。(Fuck me Rooneys face in HD is not a good sight.)
gmurz(曼城球迷)：为摄像机大哥默哀。(rip camera man)
EyeMAdam(皇马球迷)：史莱克攻击！(Shrek attack)
(图)来感受一下鲁尼的颜值吧！
【意大利1-0绝杀瑞典，埃德尔单骑闯关】
(图)携手法国、西班牙，意大利也提前小组出线
TheMediumPanda(英格兰球迷)：恭喜瑞典！还差一场比赛，瑞典就能成为欧洲杯历史上第一支在决赛圈0射正的球队。(Congratulations Sweden. With just one more game to go, you can be the first team in Euro history to not have had even a single shot on target.)
ChelseaZuger(瑞典球迷)：希望下场比赛比利时自摆乌龙，这样我们就能成为第一支0射正晋级淘汰赛的球队了。(Let's just hope Belgium score an OG and we'll actually advance without a shot on target.)
RainmakerF7(波兰球迷)：这是我看过的最意大利的比赛。(This was the most Italy game I've ever seen.)
MilanoCel(意大利球迷)：如果没有埃德尔的绝杀，意大利的精彩镜头就只剩唱国歌了。(Aside from the Eder goal, our best moment was the national anthem.)
(图)尤文球迷：国家队的防线都是我们的人！
【梅西4-1委内瑞拉晋级美洲杯四强，梅西一球两助】
(图)梅西为国家队打进54球，追平战神巴蒂的纪录
aromaticsubrxn(阿根廷球迷)：这场比赛之后，梅西应该能挣得一个首发席位了。(So i guess Messi finally earned a spot)
BeardStar(美国球迷)：没错，这小伙真有天赋。就是该刮刮胡子。(Yeah, promising young talent. He needs to cut that beard though.)
Rusiano(俄罗斯球迷)：【阿根廷梅西】终于要接近【巴萨梅西】了。(The Argentina Messi is really starting to look like the Barcelona Messi)
futbolsokur(西班牙球迷)：这个故事告诉我们，落后的时候不要踢勺子点球，爆射就好了。(NEVER TRY A PANENKA WHEN YOU'RE DOWN. JUST BANG THAT SHIT IN)
(图)同样是双骄，国家队的差别咋就那么大呢？
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