国外也有段子手：欧冠决赛MVP？克拉滕伯格舌灿莲花！
大家好，欢迎收看本期“国外也有段子手”！上周末，欧洲俱乐部赛事终于落下帷幕，皇马在点球大战中击败了马竞，获得了欧冠冠军，这也是他们队史上的第11座欧冠冠军。而马竞虽然输掉了比赛，但他们却赢得了所有球迷的尊重。让我们恭喜皇马，同时也向马竞致敬！另一边，曼联的换帅风波终于有了结局，范加尔在争议中下课，取而代之的是狂人穆里尼奥。而在国际友谊赛的赛场上，拉什福德首秀就破门，又一次刷新了人们对于“小妖”的认知。
【第11冠！皇马点球击败马竞赢得欧冠冠军】
Therah(曼联球迷)：万千中立粉，偷洒一滴泪。(A million neutrals shed a tear tonight.)
showmethefever(热刺球迷)：罚丢点球之后，胡安弗兰又多了几分落魄诗人的气质。(That miss will just add to Juanfran's tortured poet look.)
(图)有时候，足球真的很残酷……
-Token(巴萨球迷)：奥布拉克能在这么好的位置看点球大战，羡慕。(Oblak had a prime spot to watch that penalty shootout. Lucky.)
fuckyouidontneedone(切尔西球迷)：据说他还在球门里站着呢。(Some say Oblak is still standing there)
Coolbreeze_coys(热刺球迷)：克拉滕伯格看着佩佩摇头晃脑舌灿莲花真是要把我笑死了。(Mark Clattenburg shaking his head and tongue at Pepe on the ground had me on the fucking floor.)
TheGameOfClones(曼联球迷)：感觉就像是看到了“哔——”一样。(Saw a pussy and instantly brought his tongue out.)
Heroesneverdie(利物浦球迷)：简直是欧冠决赛最佳时刻。(Highlights of the highlights.)
ICrtiMyPants(英格兰球迷)：皇马的所有点球都罚向了右边，马竞的所有点球都罚向了左边。看来是皇马选择了正确的一边。(All Real penalties went to the right. All Atletico penalties went to the left. Guess real chose the right side)
(right的双关梗)
koreanpopstarrain(阿森纳球迷)：足球就是22个人在场上奔跑，最后C罗把衣服脱了的游戏。(Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, Ronaldo always takes his shirt off.)
pahagwl(曼联球迷)：在同一个赛季执教欧冠冠军和英超降级球队，毕竟贝尼特斯。(Rafael Benitez, the only manager to manage a champions league winning team and a relegated team in the same season.)
ItsHighNoon(皇马球迷)：你们以为贝大师真去英冠了？图样。(You guys really think Rafa went to League Championship?)
(图)贝大师垂帘听政……
【王者驾临！穆里尼奥入主曼联】
1hive(阿森纳球迷)：感谢上帝，反正我厂既赢不了曼联也赢不了穆鸟，这样就能少输两场比赛了！(Thank goodness, we can't beat United and we can't beat Mourinho. Now we only lose two games per season instead of four!)
Sibztagram(利物浦球迷)：终于可以同时黑穆鸟和曼联了哈哈！(Finally I can dislike him and United at the same time! :))
feedmechips(维拉球迷)：在曼市的一间公寓里，马塔坐在他的板凳上，眼角滑过一滴热翔。(Cut to an apartment in Manchester. Mata sits on his couch, a single tear falls down his cheek)
koolerjames(切尔西球迷)：你说过，你会毁灭西斯，而不是加入他们！(You said you'll destroy the sith, not join them!!)
(星战粉们都懂~)
ThatAeroGuy(皇马球迷)：我已经等不及看之后的情况了。有了瓜穆之争，曼市德比将会更加有看头！(Can't wait to see how this turns out. The fight for the supremacy of Manchester is going to be very intense now with both clubs have some of the world's best managers.)
【曼联官宣：范加尔下课】
Manudevil7(曼联球迷)：谢谢你带来的小将和足总杯冠军。加尔，祝你一切都好，安享退休生活吧！(Thanks for bringing through the youth and the FA Cup. Best of luck with everything, Louis. Enjoy retirement!)
Scholes_SC2(曼联球迷)：等厨子下课等了一个赛季，没想到最终尘埃落定的时候，还是会为他感到心疼，尤其是媒体对待他的方式。(Spent most of the season wishing for this to happen but cant help to feel bad for the way he's been treated, mostly by the media.)
Bayo_kirstina(切尔西球迷)：我有一种不祥的预感，穆里尼奥并不会是大家所期待的救世主。(i have this strange and unpopular feeling that mou won´t be the fix all that everyone is expecting for Man-U)
Pixelperfect3(拜仁球迷)：一年之前，谁能想到穆里尼奥会在切尔西下课，并且成为新任曼联主帅，谁能想到胡梅尔斯去了拜仁，莱斯特城拿了英超冠军。这就是足球，充满惊喜的足球。(Football is so unpredictable. Who would have thought a year ago that Mourinho would have been sacked by Chelsea and by May would be managing United, Hummels would have signed for Bayern and Leicester fucking City would be champions of England)
koreanpopstarrain(阿森纳球迷)：还有像加尔一样在夺冠之后这么快就下课的主教练吗？(Has anyone ever been sacked so quickly after winning a trophy?)
NeatBeluga(阿森纳球迷)：皇马表示不是针对谁……(U forgot Real Madrid)
【英格兰2-1胜澳大利亚，拉什福德首秀破门】
(图)“身为最伟大的球员是一种什么样的体验？”“我不知道，去问拉什福德吧~”
Fraaj(曼联球迷)：现在看来，中日德兰比赛前马夏尔的意外受伤真是天佑我魔。(God bless Martial getting injured before the Midtjylland match.)
LAMamba24(阿森纳球迷)：曼联首秀、英超首秀、曼市德比首秀、英格兰国家队首秀，真是一言不合就首秀进球啊！！(United Debut, Premier League Debut, Manchester Derby, England debut, He really can't stop scoring on debuts!)
Alwp3387(英格兰球迷)：到欧洲杯的时候，我们就应该派上瓦尔蒂、拉什福德、凯恩、鲁尼和斯图里奇的5前锋，差不多能13-8拿下所有比赛。(Inl the Euros, England should just say fuck it and play a front 5 of Vardy, Rashford, Kane, Rooney and Sturridge and win all their games 13-8)
Justh0nest(英格兰球迷)：这小伙难道感觉不到压力吗？(DOES THIS KID NOT FEEL ANY PRESSURE?!?)
Asian_with_an_afro(曼联球迷)：大概只有在考试的时候吧~(Only during exam season.)
最后，让我们看看英国人是怎么花式吹拉什福德的吧：
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